Addiction and Denial

Denial is the reason most addicts don’t seek treatment on their own. Most addicts don’t think they are addicts, or they don’t want to be an addict. Who wants to be an alcoholic or a cocaine addict or an opiate addict? Like other problems that produce fear, guilt and shame, addiction is difficult to accept. The addict manufactures excuses, rationalizations and sometimes delusions. It’s easier to blame people, places and things for our problems.

Addicts aren’t alone in this — denial is a human defense mechanism. When we don’t want to face painful realities, we avoid acceptance as long as possible. Often, when people age and begin having difficulty doing the things they could do when younger, they deny the reality at the risk of injury or embarrassment. I once could lift heavy weights, then a few years back I found myself leaving the gym with injuries caused by attempting to lift what I can no longer lift. With age come certain realities we either accept or try to deny. With addiction come certain realities.

Let’s concentrate on the alcoholic — it’s very difficult to admit and accept alcoholism for a number of reasons. Alcohol is acceptable at most social gatherings, and in some crowds it’s strange that a person doesn’t drink or can’t “hold their drink”, so the alcoholic can’t imagine a life without alcohol. The alcoholic sees alcohol as a social lubricant, the lifeblood of the party, the means by which to feel comfortable, witty and smart. When alcohol becomes a problem and the alcoholic is often drunk at social functions, others begin to say things about the drinking and perhaps the alcoholic is not invited back to social gatherings.

If a spouse says something about the drinking, the alcoholic might see this as nagging, the wife becoming a killjoy. If the alcoholic is shunned socially, the reason might be that his friends are jealous, or Joan just doesn’t like her and wants to ostracize her — the alcoholic begins blaming people, places and things because accepting reality is too painful.

In treatment, almost all clients coming in are in denial in one form or another. They are either minimizing or denying straight our there’s a problem. Treatment is a process of accepting addiction, then accepting that action is necessary to recover. The best way to break through denial is to hold up a mirror to the client and let them know the facts as others see the facts — this happened, that happened and so on. The addicted person will usually come to acceptance, especially when they’re in group therapy with others who’re becoming honest with themselves.

A person can accept addiction, then later go back into denial, and this is why treatment of addiction is long term. Recovery management is necessary to deal with this chronic brain disease that can begin again by a person talking themselves into just one more drink, a little wine at an anniversary dinner, a little cocaine at a wild party they told themselves they would attend but not use any drugs. If a person is not paying attention to the fact they can relapse, then over time the old memories fall away and the person begins questioning whether they had a problem in the first place. A person can go into full blown denial if they aren’t practicing recovery management. This is why recovering alcoholics get into Alcoholic’s Anonymous or some other support group, to manage their recovery by getting help from others and by helping others. It works, but an individual has to take the actions to allow it to work. Addiction and denial go hand in hand — recovery and acceptance go hand in hand.