Addiction and Reality

Sometimes, reality sucks. I haven’t written a blog post lately because reality, as it has a way of doing, dealt me a set-back. I’ve been doing work on my kitchen lately. I usually hire out this type of work, but I enjoy doing it myself sometimes. I’ve never been injured doing remodeling or construction work, but 9 days ago I cut my hand with a chop saw, severing two tendons. They operated on the hand four days later, and now it’s healing, and I can at least type a little, now. I was angry for awhile — how could I make such a stupid mistake? — but like addiction and reality, first there’s acceptance of reality (you didn’t think I was going to write a whole blog post about hand, did you).

In addiction recovery, one of the first things a person has to do is accept reality. Addiction becomes a constant retreat from, or battle with, reality, and, thus, the active addict is always at odds with the way things are. The problem is that reality always wins. We can change some things, many things, and that’s where responsibility plays a big part in recovery — change the things we can. But there are certain immutable aspects of reality we can’t change — they’re accepted, if we’re going to make progress. We might change our perception of reality, but, contrary to the saying “perception is reality”, immutable reality isn’t changed through drug use, positive thinking, will-power, magic, stomping our feet, or fighting — if we don’t accept these unchangeable aspects of reality, then there’s constant turmoil, consequences, frustration, resentment and a general state of tension. Again, like the Serenity Prayer says, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

In addiction recovery, the tension that’s felt when a person is at odds with reality is dealt with positively or negatively. Goals are set in recovery, and hopefully expectations are realistic. It takes time to change ourselves, to repair the past the best we can, and to move forward creating a new life. There are set-backs, obstacles, and there are times it doesn’t seem possible or worth the effort. Impatience can cause us to try shortcuts, to skip the hard parts, to deny that certain things about ourselves are holding us back. This all creates tension, and we can either escape the tension by giving up and going back to drinking/drug use, or we can use the tension as creative energy.

Creative tension is when a person accepts where they are in life, accepts the gap between where they are and where they want to be, uses the tension to generate creative energy to achieve the set goals, making adjustments along the way. Tension can be painful and unwelcomed, or tension can generate creative energy and the desire to change and grow — it’s up to us. Addiction and reality can find peace in recovery.