Free From Addiction

Only those who’ve experienced addiction in the past, or those who’re presently addicted, can understand what it feels like chained to a drug, whether it’s alcohol, a prescription medication like Xanax or opioids, cocaine, or whatever is the drug of choice. When a person realizes they’re addicted and unsuccessfully tries to quit and keeps going back to the drug despite negative consequences, they often question their sanity. It’s frightening and confusing.

Most people who become addicted don’t understand the changes in brain chemistry or the psychological changes that accompany addiction, so when confronted and asked — why do you keep using the drug? — if they’re honest, they say “I don’t know.” But most people suffering from addiction aren’t at that depth of honesty, so they make accuses, they rationalize, they blame other people, places and things. The person addicted often feels as if they’ll fall completely apart without the drug, when in reality the drug is what’s tearing their life apart. 

There’s great loneliness in addiction. It seems as if no one understands. You know down deep that you aren’t a bad person, but you keep doing bad things under the influence, letting people down, losing jobs, divorce, fights, it goes on and on, and it becomes crazy, insane. As the addicted person goes deeper and deeper within themselves, like a turtle going into its shell for protection, the person develops a strange interior world that’s at odds with reality. Reality always wins, however.

Usually, it gets so bad in addiction that the person reaches out for help, although this reaching out for help is not always easy to recognize. Loved ones might think when it all comes unraveled and the person’s striking out indiscriminately and acting insane, that they’re just angry and cruel, but the person’s usually filled with fear and confusion, unconsciously trying to get someone or something to stop the madness. It’s okay to confront someone with an addiction, but it should be done with love and concern. There are professionals in the field of addiction treatment who can consult with a loved one about how to talk to the person suffering from addiction. The old saying that a person has to want help in order to get help is not quite true — the addicted person often doesn’t know what he/she wants — they’re lost, torn between the drug their mind and body tells them they need and another part that’s still sane telling them the drug is killing them. 

So, interventions can work, and they’re worth the effort. Just as no one who has never been addicted can fully understand the madness and loneliness (although family and friends suffer greatly living with or dealing with someone who’s addicted), it’s also hard to fully understand the joy and relief when the person’s in recovery from addiction and realizes that they’re free from the drug. It’s a spiritual experience. Every time I witness the recovery process it’s a fresh miracle.