Return to Alcohol After Years of Recovery

There are several ways alcoholics who’re in recovery start drinking again.  When an alcoholic has been in recovery for awhile and returns to drinking, this is called a relapse. The person was suffering from alcoholism, stopped drinking, recovered from the obsession to drink, then after a significant period of time returned to drinking. If a person has a history of stopping drinking for short periods, then going on another drinking binge, we don’t consider the return to alcohol a relapse, because the person never recovered.

There’s a tendency for many to believe if an alcoholic returns to drinking after a long time that they were never serious about recovery and never truly accepted the severity of their condition. This is not necessarily true. In many instances, an alcoholic will go to treatment, successfully complete treatment, get into a support group like AA after treatment, do all the things that are recommended for long term recovery, stay sober for years then return to drinking only to become enslaved once again to alcohol. Why would a person who understands alcoholism, who has been sober for years and has benefitted from a life of sobriety and recovery, who knows that drinking will only lead to the same consequences as before, start drinking alcohol again? 

The story usually goes like this — they were doing great in recovery, then started slipping away from the support group, began taking recovery for granted, began to fight internally with the knowledge that relapse is possible, but denying that relapse can happen to him or her, then became depressed from the underlying guilt of knowing that they’re thinking once again about drinking, then one day became overwhelmed with internal chaos, then said “**** it” and then started drinking with the idea in mind that they’ll stop if it gets too bad.

Those who understand alcoholism and recovery understand that recovery takes a deep psychic change. When this psychic change happens, wonderful things can happen. I’ve witnessed over and over for decades people transform from a hopeless alcoholic who had lost everything, or was in the process of losing everything,  to a person free from alcohol who then started reaching their potential, improving their life in all areas – family, work, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc. The thing is that this psychic change that enables long term recovery has to be maintained — it’s not a one time, permanent transformation. Recovery depends on how a person daily maintains that recovery.

The old cliché around recovery communities, one day at a time, is a cliché because it’s true. It’s not true only in relation to recovery from alcoholism, it’s true for many things. How many times have you watched someone achieve something only to take it for granted, then through complacency, neglect and denial throw it way? A loving, romantic relationship, a great job that promised a long and prosperous career — it’s basically the same process, the person doesn’t believe they have to continue doing the things that enabled the achievement to start with. With alcoholism, though, relapse can be deadly. The idea that you’ll simply stop if it gets bad again is an illusion — it’s not how alcoholism works. Once the obsession to drink is in full force again, there’s no guarantee that you’ll get back to recovery. Just as I’ve witnessed over and over the psychic change that leads to recovery, I’ve also witnessed relapse and all the destruction that comes with relapse, included premature death. As people who’ve been through relapse and were lucky enough to return to recovery will tell you, it’s easier to stay in recovery than to relapse and try to get back, so, even if sobriety gets boring, or bad things happen in sobriety, it’s easier to work through the challenges and grow from the experiences than it is to start drifting away from recovery principles and actions and setting up a relapse.