Women in Recovery

Women in recovery face unique challenges, especially women with children. Recovery itself is very challenging for men or women, but when a woman has kids and not much support from family members, if any support at all, it can become overwhelming. Most women are great at giving care, but not so good at asking for help. Women in recovery also battle shame. Shame and resentment are two dangerous relapse triggers, so they must be faced and dealt with.

Most women in long term recovery have established a strong foundation in a community of women who’re also in recovery. This can be a women’s-only AA group or any such group of women helping each other grow in sobriety. Having support from others who understand your problems is a relief. Women discover they don’t have to do it alone and don’t have to have all the answers — they learn to ask for help and accept care-giving from others. Most times when a woman feels over-loaded with responsibilities and over-whelmed with shame or life in general, it’s because she hasn’t asked anyone to help her. It’s amazing how many people are willing to help out if you simply ask them. There’s no shame in asking for help.

It’s important for women in recovery to take time-outs, even if they think there’s no time to take. Ten minutes is enough sometimes to get centered and to relax. Practicing meditation is a powerful technique to deal with stress. It doesn’t have to be the meditation people usually think of, like crossing your legs and chanting — it can be a period of silence in which you seek a calm place in your mind and tell yourself that the struggle is worth it, and that one day all your present efforts in recovery will pay off. They’re probably already paying off and just need to be recognized and appreciated. This time-out can be for anything  relaxing or fun or enlightening. Sometimes you just need to dance and sing.

Recovery might be hard in the beginning, but, with support and new, empowering thoughts and emotions that turn into actions, recovery becomes real, the shame subsides, a new-found energy is generated and new purpose and meaning arise. It’s hard to deal with responsibilities and the stresses of life in the haze and chaos of active addiction, especially when the consequences of addiction are causing more stress and shame daily. Women in recovery face a lot of challenges, but most of them have made it this far, and even though addiction deteriorates everything that’s held dear, making it through the addiction into recovery is a feat of great courage. My advice to women in recovery – build on that courage in recovery, with the help of others, and be good to yourself — oh, and don’t drink or use. Here’s the article that inspired me to write this – I should have just pointed to this link.